Sometimes it stresses a woman beyond the point of crazy to know she is about to be in a confrontation. Now there are those who are pathetic with the “keep the peace” mindset which actually translates as “walk all over me just as long as we both smile and act happy.” I’m not speaking to you. You seem like a coward to me.I am speaking to the women who believe anger in and of itself is not wrong. It's even a tool sometimes. It’s what you do with the anger that determines right or wrong - as well as what you’ll immediately face. And here lately, it seems by that point I’m already swinging.
Some of us are slow to anger. Nothing wrong with that, I fit in this category as well. No, I do! Problem is, when I finally get to the angry point, I boil over and end up telling off the customer service chic who won’t return the freakin’ present I didn’t want anyway, letting loose a typhoon that started the day before with the lawn care guy.
She begins to look confused around the “When I specifically said NOT to cut over the monkey grass, it’s all that I can keep *#$$*@! alive in the whole #%$@ yard!”
I have become easier to be around, I think. I am growing more tolerant to . . . . Okay, I’m sugar–coating. No, I’m down–right lying. The truth is, the older I get, the less tolerance I have to idiots who have the IQ of a jar of mayonnaise. I believe in a give & take type set-up within relationships, and the very few women I believe deserve my complete loyalty and upmost respect as my true friends will tell you I’m right. They smirk when they say it, but they freakin’ say it.
I don’t know, Girls, give me some input. Is it so wrong to realize that being a high – riding bitch keeps the morons away from your house? I mean they even cross to the other side of the street when walking their idiot dogs! And turning thirty-nine next month, I think I’m about to decide my future as a mean old hag! And no, I do not mean I am prejudice when I say “less tolerant.” I mean there are idiots in my race, your race, his race, her race, and I just can’t seem to get along with the member of any race here lately!
Don’t hold back, Ladies, I’m very opinionated and value truthful opinions from others. Weak, sniffling “you hurt my feewings” people are useless to me, so don’t think I’ll lose sleep over you speaking your mind. I need to know . . . . am I too much of a bitch?
’Cause I see being too much of a bitch as “never can have too much of a good thing, Darlin!”
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It's a special kind of difficult to be a woman in our weird post-Victorian society. The backlash of all that bullshit is still doing it's thing, but no one said blazing your own trail was glamorous or would be embraced by many others. Chances are though, it probably will be one of those things if you stop looking for resistance.
ReplyDeleteSeriously. Stop looking for resistance!
You probably haven't received replies because your post seemed like a rhetorical question and was also unnecessarily combative. No one's fighting you here, and no one has the strong opinions about your behavior that you or the people subjected to your behavior do. What I got from that post was "add to my rant or say something useless you simpering fool" which may tickle but is ultimately wasted on anyone with anything better to do.
Being a bitch, to me, is marked by the unnecessary and non-constructive, coupled with the knowingly potentially hurtful. You're not being a bitch by telling someone to keep their dog off of your lawn or, if you're afraid of dogs, away from your house in general. But the sidewalk isn't yours, and since you live in a world full of others, learning to play well with them will make your own life a lot more pleasant. It's more sensical to make your feelings and desires known and to make a point of being mindful of others' as well so that you can meet each other eye to eye. It ain't all about you, boo.
Besides, we're all domesticated animals and everything's still about power. Since we also have this huge capacity for empathy, though, you can cut out on the arbitrariness and perceived arbitrariness by taking the time to explain ourselves. People just want to understand and be understood in the long run- it's what tempers the take-take-take.
So telling them what and what for in a way that's no less assertive but also respectful of their position as an individual with feelings and rights and shit going on, with a reserve of just as much time for you and your bullshit as you have for them and theirs... is how you play this life-with-others game well.
I'm going to make the judgement that you don't have time for your feelings. So you dismiss others as stupid and therefore beneath you in certain capacities... because they aren't on the same page, not in step with you or responding in a way that you from your necessarily limited perspective find reasonable. There isn't anything wrong with being assertive or even forceful to express yourself. Your interactions determine a lot for you- from the quality of your relationships to the level of safety and respect you experience within those relationships but exactly what seeds are you watering to get there? What do you really want, and why? What emotions are you voiding with your metaphorical fists already swinging because you are not slow to anger, or at least you weren't when you wrote this. You're just slow to identify and express that anger.
And that's a bummer. Much more or you than whoever else is dealing with it in you. And it's a common thing. But if you aren't aware of it, it screws you and you don't want to accidentally screw yourself.
Best,
NSP