Why?

a great reason to stay clean

Posted by Jeanne with her HTC Aria

The Comedown

I’ve seen people pick apart their carpeting and pull up their floors because they think – just maybe – some crystal meth slid off the foil or an icy chunk of hard may be there waiting for them.

Some have scraped the bottom of a drawer from their dresser because at one time there was meth in that drawer and just maybe there will be enough sting in the nostril to let them know they did get some dope in their system (along with particles of unknown origin, possibly roach or rat droppings or glass or wood or chemicals of some sort).
 
A mother gave birth to her baby in a crack house that happened to be marked for a raid, unbeknownst to herself and the small, screaming newborn lying on the floor beside her, the umbilical cord still in place while she hit the pipe one more time . . . . A sergeant exited the crack house, sobbing loudly, cradling the newborn in his arms . . . .

I’ve seen people continuously walk up and down an alley at a meth house, bending over to scour the gravel drive for just one more piece, trying desperately to melt down rock after rock after rock after rock . . . . The rocks God made, not those made by methamphetamine manufacturers, unfortunately seen by the searchers . . . .

Straightening the semi-circular end of a wire coat hanger to poke the straightened wire down through the straw or Bic pen casing in order to scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape the residue from a used meth “snorkel,” as we called them, just to be able to snort or burn the dope again, or even inject it, or eat it - along with the plastic stringies dangling from the inside of the scraped pen casing . . . .

Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

…to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

Can’t ANYONE see that it may be impossible for some addicts to stop?!?

Hell, throw those junkies away, man! Let the Department of Corrections treat them . . . . Then, when they get out, they’ll be even sicker . . . . better . . . . sicker.

And if you think there aren’t any drugs in prison, you are fooled.

That’s my rant for the day.

Where I Lived

I dread surfacing up into conscious thought,

Each morning that I wake up trapped and caught.

The panic that fills me; the cue that it is time;

The crude, unwarranted, murderous rhyme;

The damn fiends and ogres who feed on my smiles–

Dining and stockpiling; energized by my trials.

Searching for a connect weak enough to walk across,

To find out that my equal just equals a great loss.

Their bags are soon empty, the voids will need filled,

There, screams crawl the walls, in the pit where I live.

-Jeanne Sparks-Carreker
   January, 2007

                      ☻☺☺☻♥☻♥☻♥☻♥☻♥☻☺☺☻

Get HIGH tomorrow…. stay clean from meth TODAY!!

Possession, Anyone? Here’s the Catch-22 the Judge Throws at You

WARNING: THIS POST MAY CAUSE A RELAPSE FOR THOSE IN RECOVERY FROM OXYCONTIN ABUSE – HELL, FORGET THE “MAY,” IT WILL CAUSE A RELAPSE! CLICK ON SOMETHING ELSE, TRICK! :)

Brian, a native of Birmingham, was pulled over by one of Jefferson County’s finest the other day. Though Brian specifically remembered flipping up the blinker arm to signal a right hand turn to the cop he knew was behind him and on the hunt, the big man gave the tried-and-true excuse that Brian failed to use his turn signal when taking a right-hand turn. Actually, cops in that area of Birmingham look for any excuse to pull over a motorist due to the drug activity there.

Unfortunately, the cop was correct in his assumption that Brian may be in the area to buy pills from the local dealer. Four OxyContin 40mg pills were slipped into the evidence department’s version of an authoritative Ziploc bag, and Brian could see the dark yellow color of each tiny OC from where he sat, handcuffed, in the back of the squad car.

Why didn’t I just eat those?!

Every addict, pill popper, fiend, and doper whose addiction has been or was active for more
than 2-3 years can relate to the sad reason that Brian didn’t eat those pills when he saw the blue lights twirl on.

When the panic and raw fear in the pit of his stomach began, before he gained control and appeared calm to the approaching deputy, it occurred to Brian that his window of opportunity was closing quickly. and he decided fast to - - -

- - - just hide them better because ingesting an OxyContin results in nothing close to the happiness caused by rubbing off the pill’s time-release coating, placing it on a hard, smooth surface then covering it with your cigarette pack’s cellophane wrapper to keep it all in place while crushing it with the butt-end of a Bic lighter; after that, rolling up a crisp $20 bill into a tight tube, and snorting it up his nose, hoping for a good, painful burn that shows how fresh – and thus more potent – the OC is, and being careful not to scrape the inside wall of the nostril because who knows what the freak could be on that money - - -

Do you see what I referred to as being a sad reason one realizes he/she is familiar with as an addict? If Brian had eaten the pills he would not have been arrested that day. But if he had eaten the pills, there would have been no chance whatsoever of being able to snort one when he got home.

The stranglehold of OCs is that strong – it holds a person that tight. In order to snort one rather than take it orally, I have also made the choice in the past to just hide an OC from a cop so that there was still at least a one-in-a-thousand chance that I’d be able to snort it in the very short distant future of that event. And being one of the fortunate addicts having a Class A felony on record ensures me of a complete shakedown any time a cop pulls me over, no matter who is driving the vehicle. So I was caught, also.

But here’s the thing: society wants me to stay clean. Is that a problem? Why, yes, it is. And it doesn’t seem to be a problem in which only I am the “perpetrator.” Listen up:

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines "addiction" as a habitual, psychological and physiological dependence on a substance or practice beyond one's voluntary control.

…beyond one’s voluntary control.

And an even better definition of “addiction” can be found in Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

…to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

And standing in front of a judge who has a look on his face that seems to say, “I know you aren’t going to comply with the stipulations I place upon the basis of you remaining free. But this is the way it is done.”

I could speak words that cause anyone in the courtroom to believe in my attempts to make a change this time. I could utter phrases that cause everyone in the front row to shed a tear, and once, I was able to flow a few myself. But the bottom line is this: I really did want to make a change. I really did mean what I said.

And at the same time, I knew, down deep in my own reasoning, that it was a futile attempt. Both, And. Yes, No, Will, Won’t. All at the same time. Though everyone who has an IQ of that above a jar of mayonnaise knows that an addict will lie faster and better and all the time. But the honest truth, the absolute truth of the matter is, an addict lies to their self way more than to anyone else.

And the Catch-22 that the State throws at an addict standing before them fearing the cut-off from all the people they love, the children that depend on them to stay in a place where they can be touched and utilized as a parent, and fearing the place they may be sent to (because underneath it all, they are and want to be a good person) is to stay clean of a drug which will not let them go . . . . a drug that is, in fact, in possession of them.

Any Old Reason Will Do

Any reason to get high on meth was a good reason for me when I was actively using drugs.

Good news, bad news, holidays, normal days, morning, noon, night, and even in between those times and for any reason whatsoever, and for no reason whatsoever, I wanted to smoke a bowl (use methamphetamine in a pipe) and snort an OC (a potent pain killer named OxyContin).

Since any old reason would do, the struggles of life or times when you receive a blow became completely impossible to face, unless I got high.

And it always progresses to unknown levels, and it’s always too late to turn back.

Got meth? Get help!

Sometimes Looks are Deceiving

These days, fashion trends and the free expression of self is important to teenagers. I remember when my daughters went through the “gothic” stage, and I patiently waited on them to just grow tired of it rather than tell them they could not wear too much black eyeliner and buy XL hoodies to hide under.

They eventually did change their attire and have grown into strong, drug - free women who are also mothers now to my beautiful grandchildren.

But there were times that I worried about their choice of friends, and usually this was because the things they wore were just crazy. Their friends expressed themselves very uniquely, to say the least.

I was impressed to learn that their friends did not partake of drugs of any kind, however, and that they really did just enjoy a free expression of uniqueness in their appearance.

Throughout their teenage years, I learned that looks can truly be deceiving.

I’m happy I stuck it out, bit my tongue, and gave their friends the benefit of the doubt.

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>>fucking up your high....because we care<<

Bravery Is Bravery, No Matter Why It Is Summoned

I was listening to the news this morning and heard the report on the small plane which crashed as it was attempting to land in New Jersey a few hours ago. A small snippet and link is included below, if you want to read about the plane crash.

I listened as the anchor told the story, and my heart sank when she said that a child was in the crash. There were five killed total, no survivors.

I guess I should feel my heart tug over any age being killed in the crash, but I could not help focusing on the child, wondering if the child was afraid, wondering if the child had time to think about death. That’s usually enough to make me cry, I’ll admit it.

Then I thought, it may not have been as frightening for the child as it sounded. I would like to think that the adults and teenager on board told the child everything was fine, not to be afraid. Love will do that.

Then I realized, what a brave and selfless thing – to overcome your own fear of death and comfort a child to lessen the terrifying aspect most people have about dying.

What does this have to do with Methamphetamine and the Truth From the Stem? It’s very simple, actually:

If you are currently active in your addiction by using meth or any drug, think of the bravery and rarity that such a selfless act would have in deciding that you are going to get clean for your child. Or your younger sibling, or niece, nephew, neighbor’s kid who thinks you’re cool – no matter who the beneficial and loved child is, get clean for him or her.

You would be just as heroic and just as brave because you made a sacrificial change for love. You can do it. Bravery is bravery, no matter why it is summoned.


Have a happy day :) 
-Jeanne

By GEOFF MULVIHILL
Associated Press Writer

updated 9:47 p.m. CT, Mon., Feb. 15, 2010

WALL TOWNSHIP, N.J. - A small plane trying to land broke apart and tore through a snowy field next to a runway Monday afternoon, killing all five people aboard, including a teenager and a child, and scattering debris over 200 feet….

To continue reading this article, click HERE.

Image Credit:
Robert Ward / ASSOCIATED PRESS

Find the answers. Read the info. Locate the way. Truth From the Stem

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Crystal Meth: The Threshhold for Corrupting America's Youth

Cold Med Rx Bills to Lower Number of Meth Labs?

The following article can be found at:
Drugsense: Drug Law Reform Weekly News


The Senate on Tuesday sent to the governor House Bill 512, which supporters say is designed to curtail the state's escalating meth activity.  The House earlier passed the bill.  Gov.  Haley Barbour said he would sign the bill.

The law would go into effect July 1.  Oregon passed a similar law in 2006.

Barbour said the new law would "make it more difficult to obtain the ingredients for this drug that tears families apart and harms many of our communities.  Meth labs threaten public safety, and I don't think there is any doubt we will see a drop in the number of labs in our state."

Not everyone is pleased about the bill. Letha Wiley, 62, of Sardis said putting the restrictions on pseudoephedrine, a decongestant, won't stop meth addicts.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  Everybody can't afford to go to the doctor," Wiley said.  "( Addicts ) are going to do what they want to do.  Lawmakers have got more important issues to deal with."

This is the thing… the fact that there will be fewer meth labs if cold meds can only be obtained by prescription is an absolute certainty. And though my friends at drugsense.org seem to think it is something the government should not do, the fewer meth labs, the better off we all are.

Except…. an addict will find drugs when they want to get high. “Shake and Bake” is nothing like the real meth from yesteryear, and the ice that is out and about is a freaking joke. But labs and cooks, unfortunately, will adapt, will find another source of pseudoephedrine, and we’ll all be back here talking about it next year or so.

Many crack addicts turned to Shake and Bake and have actually become a bit better, though I absolutely do not advocate its use. I simply believe there are more pressing issues. But anyhoo…. pseudo ban - - - coming to a state near you!!

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Veronica Scores a Gram

          

     This is Veronica.  A couple of years ago, if she had just known what crystal meth was really all about, she would have never found herself sitting alone there, trying to live through a shrieking moment of the
"WHAT THE F**K DID I JUST DO FOR THAT GRAM?!"
realization.



Maybe the next time she sleeps with someone to get high it will be easier for her to cope with afterward. And then the next time after that, and the next time. . . Hell, pretty soon, there won't be much Veronica left anyway, so it'll probably be smooth sailing for her conscious from here.

Besides, now Veronica has that little baggie and it's screaming her name - only this time, she dreads the new realization that she doesn't seem to be looking forward to getting high as much as she did this morning. This time, the escape will have to help get her through the new way she acquires an escape.

Too bad she didn't get some info about meth years ago. Too bad she didn't

find the answers. . .